Sh1t the Hills Say

Hills tell the truth. Really. They test the balance of cardio, power and form against your weight. You can choose to take them easy or haul ass to the top. Ignore your gasps of air into your burning lungs and listen carefully:

  • You’re fat.
  • You need to work on those glutes.
  • Achilles – yes, you will be using them today and you need to ice them later.
  • Calves are the frienemy.
  • The top is further than you think, but the goal is now a lot closer.
  • You might be a rock star on rep 2, but you’ll be Jabba the Hut, come rep 9.
  • The chocolate donut for breakfast isn’t looking so good.
  • The chocolate donut for afternoon snack isn’t looking so good on the side of the road.
  • Drafting cyclists going up the hill is fun.
  • Passing cyclists and dropping them like a sack of potatoes is funner.

Hills tell the truth and if you’ve trained well, you might like what you hear. If you haven’t, you now know what needs to be done.


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